It's amazing how many things happen in the time I write to you.
First, sadly was your anniversary. Of course we all thought about you. Nowadays I just smile and remember the good times we had. As much as I wish we could of had more I am gratefully for the time we shared.
Next, is the trade. As I'm sure you're aware I did trade the Caddy for the Willys. Steve was so excited. I don't recall seeing a man at his age hopping up and down in the snow in glee. It was definitely destiny that I got the caddy to get to him. I'm a super thrilled about the Willys! Lisa is aware of the agreement between Michele and I. But I really want it for myself. I am so confident that I can restore it on my own. Hopefully!
Outside of that everything else is smooth. I have started to distance myself from certain family. Their ignorance borders to close to racism which is a direct result of their lack of education and culturing. I'm not sure where it will go but for now I am just keeping my distance.
Keep sending the love
Joseph
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October 31st, 2016
Hey Rob,
Forgive my lapse in writing, too many thing happening (as you are aware) to get to you.
Life is still without drama. With the exceptin of Daddy. I fear that his addiction to alcohol is so deep that he might be to far to help. Please, whatever you can do to help him see the errors in his way would be appreciated.
The SIX 4 is nearly done. With a few more improvements I hope to have it complete in the next few months.
Big news! I might be trading the 53 Caddy for a 54 Willys! Fingers crossed!
We all miss you,
Joseph
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May 26th, 2016
Hey Rob,
Long time no talk, I hope all is well.
Life is progressing well for us. With our 0 drama household, I am free to concentrate on my career and family.
I recently installed a tach in the 66 Suburban. I felt your presence which gave me unprecedented amounts of confidence. Honestly I can't believe I got it work with one shot at it. What a great reward I felt afterwards. The Burban is running a bit rough which I'll be reviewing how to correct that.
Everything else is going well. However I'm not sure if I mentioned how Daddy and I have been. It's almost as if he's stopped drinking. He's way more focused, jolly, and civil. To some degree I find him to be a different person now. All in all, it's been great and I hope to keep up the good rapport.
I'm sure you saw me a few months ago riding your 66. I took it to a friends bachelors. Thankfully we didn't go joy riding in it because the alternator was bad. It's been replaced and I plan to bring it up to Edison and swap it for the Burban. Should be fun.
We all miss you,
Joseph
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December 25th, 2015
Hey Rob,
Merry Christmas!
This holiday had to be one of the most peaceful. Starting off with a quiet morning with the Lil man enjoying his gifts. Followed with exchanging gifts. It was truly wonderful. I believe this peacefulness has occurred because we finally have money in the bank. Enough money in the bank that allowed me to purchase a 66 Suburban, which I've nicknamed 'Bourbon', and am excited to pick it up in the new year.
Everyone on Iseminger is enjoying their toys (not a truck load of toys thankfully). Just a mild amount of toys and the appreciation of each others company.
We all miss you,
Joseph
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September 1st, 2015
Hello Robert,
Nearly 8 months have past and I just can't believe I've not written you. Needless to say there's been much change.
Having parted ways with Yao, Openings, and many other projects that just were not going the direction I thought to be fruitful. I now find myself in a totally different universe. One that I quietly fear. I am finally happy.
Starting off with the biggest news the birth of Rylan Penelope Kilrain on Aug 25th at 10:29a. At first I wasn't 100% thrilled, maybe 99.9% :) Both her and Lisa are doing well and I am stoked to teach her, like I will with Quinn, all the skills I've acquired over the years.
Next is the Chevy. After a fall out with the ignorant Michael Bennett I found myself forced to become a master body / mechanic. With this forced change in position I'm becoming more skilled than ever. This is made possible by giving myself some slack when I make mistakes or don't know something, and more importantly patience. Patience truly is a virtue.
Don't think that because I don't write on this page I've forsaken you. Your tools are a constant reminder of your spirit. And I long for the day when we can work together again. Just make sure it's a looooong time. I want to spend as much time as possible with those I love.
Be well,
Joseph
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January 30th, 2015
Hello Robert,
First, it's with a heavy heart that I wish you a merry christmas and happy new year so long after the fact. You know I thought about writing to you, it was managing a moment to do.
Currently the history of my life is repeating itself. Similar to when I first moved to NYC, there are so many new opportunities presenting themselves it has my soul spinning. Parting from Yao, Openings, and freed up time for me to close the gaps with other projects. For example, the SIX4 is way off schedule and I need to get that back on track / completed. Mike's 61 Falcon, Jack's 72 Chrysler, the 53 Caddy, and Hugh's RX2 are dying waiting for me.
Over the holidays I had such a wonderful time with everyone. I am beyond thankful for everything I have, truly I am. It does break me down thinking that you were not with us physically to enjoy those moments. Interesting enough, I didn't think of you not once when Kevin, Amy, and all respected people there were playing. You have faded from memory, I feel that I should be upset. But I am not. For the first time in a long time I am finally content with the cards life has dealt me. Even with the moments that make me upset / uncomfortable. I'm rolling with the punches and grateful for what I have. Am I maturing?
All I ask is that you continue to offer your creative insight and overview as I proceed with life. Even if you give me a moments notice I will be grateful.
Still missing you,
Joseph
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Sept 12th, 2014
Hey Rob,
As I was fantasizing about rat rods, hot rods, and how fortunate I am to have the guts to pursue what makes me happy I thought of you. It still breaks my heart that you are gone. Every time I touch a tool, think of building a car, almost anything requiring mechanical thinking you come to mind. I still miss you terribly.
I'd love to smack you in your head for doing what you did
Missing you,
Joseph
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August 21st, 2014
Hey Robert,
Long time since my last post. Life has changed so much in such a short time. Yao and I split (life is so much better), School is almost done (what a waste it has been), the Chevy is nearly completed (thank god!), I purchased 15x7 Rally wheels for the Olds (it looks awesome), the house is completed and ready for furniture, Quinn is getting big (gonna be turning 3), but most importantly my morale is up.
Hope all is well with you,
Joseph
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April 23rd, 2014
Hey Robert,
A shimmer of light that I wanted to share with you.
A very positive note from AiPittsburgh stating that I may pursue offering my life credit examples to be exempt from taking further classes has my soul skipping a beat! This means I could potentially finish school by summer time :O.
Spoke with Drew Alia, one of my many home boys from Philly, is helping in the pursue the patent for my lamps.
Met with Mikel Glass today, we've got lots of gumption for our upcoming event. I am mad excited!
The house is coming along, the little man is getting bigger, the SIX4 is approaching completion, getting psyched to start Mike's Falcon (say hi to him for me), the Caddy is on my mind
New business opportunities too!
I need a really big push! PUSH!!!!!! Let's get this dynasty off the ground!
Lots of positive things today
Joseph
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April 9th, 2014
Hey Robert,
I am sitting here drinking Lisa's late Uncle Robbies Scotch Whiskey blend with a saddened heart. Funny today I didn't realize you were with me until I reflected this evening. How could I have been so dumb? Finally moving that 1953 Cadillac! I am sure you are aware that I've been working with George Lolis for roughly 8 months to get the car. At first I wanted it for me, but Lisa was so upset that I was pursuing yet another car I thought it'd be best to give it to someone close. Hugh Bennett (a brother to me) wanted it but was hesitant. Charlie Oliver introduced me to Michele Fox (an angel) and, after a few times meeting, said I could park the caddy on her mom's property. I am both relieved and excited. The car will be in Hugh/Michele's name (but secretly you know I still want it :) ).
A moment after finishing the first paragraph I found myself bummed. Of course missing you. How could life be so cruel to introduce you to us and then take you away so quickly. Hugh always mentions how advanced you were as a mechanic based off of the tool box I have at his garage. If given the chance, he would take your entire tool box :) I do feel so fortunate to have all that I have. But is it to much to hang with you one last time? Probably, knowing myself, and our family, we'd give it all to have you back permanently.
Everything else seems to be turning for the better. School, business, family, all seem to be progressing in a positive direction.
I truly miss you Rob. Currently, at this very moment, I can't believe you are gone. It's unbelievable.
Say hi to all we know, and ask the cosmos if I am ready for the fame track. I feel more comfortable in my skin.
Joseph
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March 16th, 2014
Hey Robert,
Happy Belated Birthday! Of course reaching out to you (and Aunt Nancy) on your shared special day was a priority until other priorities got in they way. How are you?
Life for us has been grand. I've been getting more comfortable with autobody work, with much love and respect to the Bennett family. If it were not for them, and your tools, the 64 Chevy would be a rolling rust bucket. I've learned so much from them. I can't wait to work on your Chevy (alternator and battery), the Chrysler (engine work with Jeff Gurcick), Mike's Falcon (again with Jeff Gurcick), and potentially the 53 Caddy (with the Bennett's).
Quinn is growing up so fast! Just this weekend while we were in Maryland, it seemed his vocabulary doubled and he was almost saying full and complete sentences. Amazing how that happens over night :). It made Lisa and I smile so hard our cheeks almost cracked.
Everything else seems to be going well. Help me with the new business endeavors I am pursuing. I am ready (I believe) to transition.
Missing you dearly,
Joseph
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January 18th, 2014
Good evening Robert,
As usual, been thinking about you.
So many things happening, many making me feel that we are about to fly off the rails. I guess that is a good thing but hope that I can stop the dive. With the horseshoe bought from the Pat Passlof estate hanging above the 'Elbow' it's time some of your peeps from above grant me a few wish list items. I'll mention them in my thoughts tonight.
Full steam ahead!,
Joseph
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January 4th, 2014
Good evening Robert,
Happy New Year Robert.
As I sip my whiskey I thought of Daddy. As you may know my thoughts of him were in a position he would not consider, making me realize more and more how his actions have burdened all of us. Funny thing is, I know he knows.
Guide Hugh and I with the Caddy, Jeff and I with the Falcon and Chrysler, and myself. Any heart beats you can provide would be greatly appreciated. I truly am ready for the next step.
The white knight is talking backwards.
Feed your head,
Joseph
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December 24th, 2013
Good evening Robert,
Minutes before Christmas, it is your thoughts that come to my mind. I was looking at the photo of 'The Wolves pursuing Sol and Mani' gutenberg.org/files/28497/28497-h/28497-h.htm
It's awfully saddening when I think of your passing. When I think of Mike's Falcon, and my soon to be inheritance of a 53 Cadillac, I think of how we could have worked together. Jeff Gurcick has confirmed that we'll be working on the Falcon at his garage. It will be loads of fun, Bob Karsch and his son will be joining us on the rebuild.
As for the Caddy, once I get the title I will post more details on it.
Peace be with you my brother. Guide me as I pursue dreams that are bigger than me.
Love,
Joseph
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November 15th, 2013
Hey Rob,
I purposely avoided posting on your horrible anniversary. I thought it was becoming a pattern, not a pattern I want to repeat. Thankfully the 13th was quiet, I stayed low key and quietly reflected on your passing as I hung out with Lee Delgado and Steve Waterval for the #SELLOUT art project. A few times I drifted (which I think Lee noticed) nonetheless I thought of us. I am still upset and still devasted / pissed that you are not with us.
My birthday reminded me of 9 years ago when I was lost and had no idea what to do, how to act, how to live. As you know I am truly fortunate to have our immediate family, Lisa and hers, Porkchop, and all the others that have no idea how much I depend on them to be themselves when I see them. They ground me to no end, forbidding me to do anything that end my breathe a day early. I am referring to the fact that I like to live a bit dangerous at times. :)
Tomorrow I am headed to Philly for a special reason. I'll be looking over Mike's Falcon. He knows I'll do what I can to make it work again. As usual please set some time aside for me to use your spirit to hook 'shite' up. A part of me wants to stuff a 5.0 in it and leave it 'ratty'. Cool?
Love,
Joseph
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September 12th, 2013
Hey Rob,
I feel as if I have the darkest clouds over my head. Sadly the endeavors I was pursuing are not turning out the financial gains I had hoped. Which has me in such a funk. Thankfully my beautiful best friend and 'my new best friend' don't mind. Regardless, it still makes me feel down. I believe it is a combination of being too skilled and too great. Of course I eat humble pie everyday, and I rarely ever admit my true feelings on my abilities. But as I pursue new endeavors people don't how to handle my abilities. A part of me feels that I am doomed to being over skilled and under utilized. This would explain why I created my own sandbox versus playing in others.
Yes this is a random message, but I feel that we would be talking like this had you been in the physical form.
I guess what is reassuring is the fact that I have patience. Even if there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that light might be a train coming at me, my eyes are on the prize.
With my recent show, 'All of the Above' happening next week I already feel the urge to do so happening $h!t.
Also, help me and Hugh Bennett get our garage concept off the ground. I know you would love this idea, again, in the physical form. Your spiritual form is no different.
Love,
Joseph
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August 3rd, 2013
Hey Rob,
Big news this weekend!.
1) I processed the paperwork for the sheriffs to get Mike U. Bank accounts to personal property, they're going to get everything needed in order to get your Chevy back on the road. That damn bastard.
2) Met with Sandy yesterday as I was getting ready to see mommy at work. We started talking about the progress on my Chevy, then I asked her about Joey and Mike's Falcon. I expressed how upset I was that Joey kept dodging my calls, not understanding why he would do that. Then she got teary and said 'I told him to do that'. 'Why don't you take the Falcon Joe, if there is anybody that Mike would want to have the Falcon is you', said Sandy. Needless to say I started to tear up, and shocked. As much as I loved his cars, especially the Falcon, my goal was only to get it running for Mike's family. I'll probably have the title shortly and then we'll start the process of getting that bad boy running. I started thinking of custom plates: 'Lucifer or Damien' (names of his boas), or 'Lucy Fur', possibly 'Mike's 61', well see. All I know is I'll think of Mike every time I drive it, like I do of you.
Last, the reverse light fit. Just need to connect it and we'll be good.
Still no sign of Daddy :(
Love,
Joseph
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July 14th, 2013
Hey Rob,
I found one of the reverse lights for the chevy. Working on finding the left side to complete. Then I'll tune it up and we should be good.
I'll be working with Hugh and family tomorrow on my Chevy. Also, I'll be tuning up Yao's 66 Mustang tomorrow.
No sign of Daddy :(
Love,
Joseph
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June 11th, 2013
Hey Rob,
It's been too long since my last note.
Life's been positive in an awkward way. Each day I realize how fortunate I am. Lisa, Quinn, Mommy, Amy, Kevin, Daddy (despite our stand off), and the rest of the family. Having my health, mind, and spirit are also much appreciated. Yet, goals I've set are not blooming as I'd hope.
It's true, 'You ask life what you want, and it will give you what you need'.
Hugh and I have made a tremendous amount of progress on the Chevy. Everytime I touch one of your tools I feel that you are there with me. Nudging me along and bringing me confidence.
Say hello to everyone there.
Joseph
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February 4th, 2013
Hey Rob,
As the new year starts off there's a couple of changes that have occured I am sure you are aware of.
First, Grandmom passed at the end of December. She will be sorely missed. Her wisdom and guidance provided to me has proved to be most beneficial. She's set the bar for my grand parenting years.
You see that I got Quinn a 58' Hamilton Jeep Pedal Car. I am crazy excited!! This weekend I'll be stripping the paint off and preparing to paint. Very excited indeed :)
We'll be pursuing Mike this month regarding the Chevy. Help us nail this bastard.
Hugh and I are almost ready to start working on the Chevy too. He's got a 64 2 door SS Impala.
No sign of Daddy either. A few times I've contemplated how much he's contributed to your death. How is terrible remarks and disguting attitude might have forced you off the edge. It's at these moments I see how strong I am. Being able to withstand his degrading comments. 'You're a pussy, I'll kick your fucking ass'. He only did just enough to break even. The times he might have gone above and beyond are dwarfed by his drunken state. Grandmom always told me, "His brain is pickled. There's no chance for helping him. Wait, well, maybe no chance, but very slim". I agree
Last, I had this terrible nightmare. I dreamt that I was talking to daddy. We were at a bar trying to set our differences aside. While he was talking I saw Mike Leoponte. I saw him through Daddy's eyes. Its as if I was in Daddy's mind. Mike was telling Daddy how he can't find little Michael. I answered Mike telling him not to give up. Mike started to walk away. Daddy says to me, 'How did you see him? He's only spoken to me'. I don't remember what was said but I woke up shortly after. If Mike needs a hand, lend it.
Joseph
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December 8th, 2012
Hey Rob,
Don't think for a second I've forgotten about the 13th of Nov. I purposely chose not to write. There was nothing outstanding to talk about. But now there is!
First, I am sure you heard the 66 fire up today! Thanks to the cosmo's guiding me to get all the parts needed for the bumper and battery. Bob Karsch and his son Harrison helped me get everything installed. Still need little tid bids, but overall we are sounding really good! And as an extra bonus I had your license plate customized. It now reads 'Rob's 66' just like on the card I made you. I do need to tighten up the bumper bolts a bit and it is stinking of exhaust. Not sure why but will look into it.
I have a new court hearing for Mike. Apparently the city could not serve him so we had to push the date back. Now that he got served the new hearing is for Dec. 18th. I'll be lawyered up ready to bring him to justice.
You are aware of Kevin and Christina. Help them end their disputes quickly and maturely so they may get back to their lives. Life is to short to fight.
Joseph
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October 16th, 2012
I had an incredible dream about you last night Rob.
You had a bandage on your head. We were sitting in Shopright at Whitman plaza (of all places).
I was so happy to see you, we were talking about the Chrylser. I guess, from the dream, that your gun shot wound was superficial and you were just out of recovery. As we spoke, you kept smiling at me saying "Can't wait to start with you, but I know you can do it."
As we discussed the car I heard mommy's voice. She said, "Joseph you'll need to give Robert his tools back". Then I felt a warm feeling, I was so happy to give you back the tools. I heard you say, 'No, you take them you'll use them." Then you started to fade, and I realized it was a dream (while I was still dreaming). I did my best to stay in the dream state. To embrace your feeling, your life, your spirit, before waking up.
As I was writing "No, you take them..." I began crying. I know you realize how much I miss you. It hurts Rob, it still hurts.
When I woke up, I felt the shadowy figure I mentioned to Lisa. I am convinced it is you. It is a comforting feeling.
Joseph
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September 27th, 2012
FINALLY!
After 2 years of putting up with Michael Udowenko's nonsense for dodging repairing your car, mommy and I finally got the paperwork to the court house. My hearing is on Nov. 13, an erie reminder of your passing.
I miss you so much Rob. I really do.
Joseph
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September 9th, 2012
Rob,
Good and whatever news. First, got the knob and it looks awesome. It will be a great addition to you ride. Now I just need those bumper brackets and we'll be in business. Mommy has the paperwork at the courthouse. Hope to God we body slam Mike for his b.s. He really is a prick.
The local boys never got back to me about the chevy. But I did meet with a guy named Anthony and he seems like a nice guy. Not to mention is located at the butt end of Edison, which has a graveyard for classics! Saw 2 really cool trucks. Send some vibes if I should try to get them.
Kevin's hit a rough patch, send him some love when you can
Joseph
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September 2nd, 2012
Rob,
Got an awesome addition for your Chevy. A Brody Knob! It's a used 8-Ball which will look perfect on your wheel. The history behind the know is fascinating. Read it here: Brodie Knob
Next, I met with some locals today regarding the chevy. I felt comfortable with them. Hopefully we can start up the SIX4 project.
Peace,
Joseph
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August 23rd, 2012
Hey Rob,
Got an updates for you.
First, the city of philadelphia employs some really ignorant people. We are still waiting for them to process the paperwork after 3 weeks!!! Mommy is following up with them this week.
I had a wild thought (possibly from you last night) and I started searching for rear bumper brackets. Wouldn't you know, up comes a result from a 66-67 Chevelle and I immediately thought they were interchangeable. Sure enough the '67 bumper bracket is interchangeable! Just placed the order today. Hope to have it within the month.
Hope all is well. We all miss you terribly.
Joseph
p.s. Any luck with Daddy realizing his drinking problem?
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June 29th, 2012
Hey Rob,
Got an update for you. Finally got the testimony from Global regarding the accident. Mike is a total douche bag. He's lied from the beginning and is looking to stick us with his mess. I've formulated a decent argument for the court. I'll start the motions in the following weeks.
Also, I've got a surprise for your chariot. I hope to install it soon and will send you photos
Still no news on my Impala. Got any ideas?
Say hi to everyone up there. Ask Mike Leopanto to get the fire started for his falcon. I'd love to fix it up.
Joseph
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May 23rd, 2012
Hey Rob,
Just thought of you while watching this video.
The 66 is has taken a turn for the worse, I'll be suing Mike, help me win.
My Impala is slowly coming along.
Hope all is well
Joseph
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December 10th, 2011
Hey Rob,
I thought I wrote on my birthday, believe it or not, I am quite shocked I didn't. It's always the time that I sit and reflect on us. That bitter sweet feeling of love and friendship.
I had a thought about you as I watched some videos on classic cars. My desire to build custom rides is as strong as ever. I believe a career detour is coming up. Being a creative nerdy bastard will always be my bread and butter but my passion to express my desires in new ways is always demanding new forms of expression. 'I feel super bad ass right now'
The 66 is still in Mike's hands. Hoping there will be change by Dec. 15th. My Impala is slowly coming along.
Last week while I was overviewing the Chrysler I had the strongest feelings for daddy. Without hesitation I went to his house unannounced. Aunt Regina and Uncle Bernard were there. I mentioned to them I'd not spoken to Daddy in over a year due to his drinking. They both didn't care. It showed how much they depend on him for 'something'. Regardless we met briefly and he's the same. Still drunk and upset with life. He argued (with his back to me of course) about the money for your car. My respect for him is even lower than before. I have your title and that's all that matters.
He might not ever see me again
Joseph
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October 28th, 2011
As my birthday looms into focus my mind shifts to you. I am beginning to come to grips with your passing. I still miss you terribly but at least the thoughts do not overwhelm me like they once did.
Your 66 is still with Mike and I am disappointed. Send me a sign as to what to do. Outside of getting the law involved I am out of options.
Any luck with Daddy?
Joseph
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October 14th, 2011
Just had a thought of you Rob.
I should have written sooner but as you know I've been overwhelmed. I know you saw me work my magic on tuning up the SIX4, thank you for the inspiring thoughts.
Bigger than life, Lisa and I welcomed a wonderful baby boy into the world on Oct. 6th. My little man, the 'Mighty Quinn' has brought me a joy I didn't know exisited. We are elated!
Sadly Daddy refuses to acknowledge his drinking problem. It's nearly a year since we spoke and I still wish him to see what he's losing. Help him realize if you can.
Joseph
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August 23rd, 2011
Rob
It's finally happened!
Thank you for all of your help,
Joseph
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July 6th, 2011
Rob
Just had a thought of you and wanted to say hi.
Joseph
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June 27th, 2011
Rob
FINALLY THE SIX4 GETS AIR! Now if Airbagit can send me a quick with UPS dropping the box in every state we can keep the car off the groud. Photos & Video to come
Keep things moving,
Joseph
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June 22nd, 2011
Rob
I can hardly contain myself! I spoke with Meshi today from Master Mechanix. There's a strong possibility I'll be able to all of the body work and engine work with them!
Keep things positive!
Joseph
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June 20th, 2011
Hey Rob
Finally, after nearly waiting 2 decades I finally have the chance to lift the 64 Chevy. This was a task that I wished you and I could have done side-by-side. You'll be in my mind and heart as I complete the installation. Coincidentally the guy helping me is Rob Roberts (I get a double dose).
You see that Mommy and Aunt Nancy are finally moving towards peace again. I am so happy about that. The holidays just don't seem the same without them in our lives. Unfortunately everyone seems to have troubles with Amy. Whatever the reason try to lend some spirit to get everyone back to being happy. Let me know how I might assist.
Last, I plan to reach out to Daddy this weekend. I hope he's ready for change.
Guide me,
Joseph
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April 22nd, 2011
What a day! First, I saw the most precious site, life. I saw my soon to be baby moving around with Lisa this morning at the Dr's Office. It truly was breath taking. I don't think anyone realize how happy I was. Happy is an understatement. Shortly afterward we left and I was glowing all the way to the office.
Later in the afternoon I spoke at St. Paul the Apostle Church with great honor for Good Friday. I honestly do not remember when I was in church for service. At first I was 'ehhhh' but I quickly quieted down inside and became more comfortable. I was asked to talk about the 'Sixth Word - It is finished'. When I was first asked to talk I thought 'this is not for me', but Fr. Frank insisted. He thought I was perfect for the talk. 'Joey, I want you to talk about your healing process about Robert' said Fr. Frank. When I wrote about the pain of lossing you Rob it was indeed painful. But a certain warmth came over me as I wrote. I am sure that was you.
The ceremony was great, truly inspiring. I just let my freestyle flow freely. The tears of joy & pain from getting to know you flowed from my soul in front of 300 or so people. I don't think they were ready. Fr. Frank made a great post about it stating that, 'You could have heard a pin drop [in the church]'. The energy I revealed, I hope, enlightened everyone. It came from the bottom of my heart.
I am so happy that I had a chance to meet you in life. You really made a profound impression on me, and this has nothing to do with how you've passed on. You had a great view on life. Please continue to inspire me. I use it to inspire others.
Joseph
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March 31th, 2011
Hey Rob
Lot's has happened in the past few weeks. First, I am going to be a dad. Lisa has passed the first trimester. If it's a boy potential names are Seamus, Liam, or Noah. Next, we are selling the apartment in Queens. I am going to be a Jersey boy (ugh). Last, the airbag kit is on it's way to Philly! The SIX4 is finally going to get lifted!!
I'll follow up on your 66 tomorrow.
Love always,
Joseph
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March 11th, 2011
Happy Birthday Rob
Love always,
Joseph
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February 25th, 2010
Hey Rob,
Hope all is going well. I finally got all the stars aligned!!! Can you believe I am going to get the SIX4 airbagged? I've been waiting for this day ever since I saw low riders when I was a teenager.
Help keep all moving forward.
Much love,
Joseph
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January 10th, 2010
First of all, Happy New Year Rob. I'm sorry I didn't write you sooner but life has been a bit hectic. Between tough stuff (Daddy and I) and the good stuff (life and opportunities) I've been running in all directions. Here are updates:
Your car is just waiting for a bumper, planned to be complete by late February
Chase's boyfriend will help me install the airbags on the SIX4 (thank you for your help)
Jeff Gurcick has offered to help with working on the engine for the SIX4 too (make sure he is doing well)
I will be starting on the 72 Chrysler this month
Joey Leopanto and I will be working on Mike's Falcon in the spring (Let Mike know)
I am overwhelmingly inspired and see nothing that can hold me back
Help keep me focused,
Joseph
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November 20th, 2010
Can you believe that I might be getting the airbags finally? Help me along Rob.
And I forgot to write about the accident with your Impala. Long story short it's almost all back together.
See you soon,
Joseph
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The Timeline
November 13th, 2010
Thinking of you Rob.
Love always,
Joseph
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The Timeline
October 30th, 2010
Hey Rob,
Lots of things have happened since I last wrote. Your Chevy was hit by a runaway tow truck. Thankfully the person responsible admitted his mistake and we are putting the Chevy back together. I am watching a video on tv (oprah) about people who passed on and it made me think of you.
Love always,
Joseph
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August 26th, 2010
Hey Rob,
Was thinking about you today. The GoldmanSachs program has turned my mind inside-out. The maturity I've gained from the courses has made me rethink my past memories. No matter how I look at your passing I still cannot conceive the pressures you were under.
Love always,
Joseph
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August 23rd, 2010
Hey Rob,
Christina gave birth today to Robert Thomas Kilrain. As happy as I can be for them saying his name will be a struggle for me. I know you understand.
Joseph
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June 7th, 2010
Hey Rob,
Had the strongest thoughts about you over the last few months. Been thinking of starting a family more often then ever, wanting to start new vehicle project, getting a house, etc. How does one achieve the dreams their heart desires? Put your faith in the dice and roll.
Say hi to everyone up there.
Love always,
Joseph
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March 11th, 2010
Happy Birthday Rob
Love always,
Joseph
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February 17th, 2010
Hey Rob,
Just saying Hi.
Daddy's friend Mike is not doing so well. Mind giving him a hand?
Love always,
Joseph
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February 6th, 2010
Hey Rob,
Life has revealed a series of events before my eyes over the last few months. With Mike Leoponte passing, I also got a call from one of my closests, and realest friends, Noah Bornstein has joined your ranks. I am sure you saw my breaking down on the train as his mother told me the story. It's true what Otis Redding said, 'Change has got to come'. And if loosing Noah wasn't hard enough, Rick the owner of the 72 Chrylser passed on last Friday. Let him know I will be restoring his Chrylser and will keep it in honor of him.
Believe it or not, I feel like life is turning incredibly wonderful for me.
Please watch over us Rob, and give me the horsepower needed. I am ready to rule.
Love always,
Joseph
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December 18th, 2009
I am sure you already know Mike Leoponto is no longer with us Rob. He's joined the ranks of the angels that follow over those that miss and loved him. I am sure he's got paperwork he needs to fill out before he enters the kingdom. Give him a big hug for me and tell him he's left an everlasting impression on my heart and soul. Also let him know, if he wants, I'd love to restore the Falcon.
Love always,
Joseph
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November 13th, 2009
It's been a rough day. I drove from NYC to Philly in your car today. It's ironic that this time 5 years ago I was barreling down the Turnpike in the Olds racing to your situation. Remebering how Mommy screaming in the phone that you had shot yourself, Me calling Daddy and telling him to get to your house, telling Lisa what had happened, etc. When I learned that my fears were true I nearly lost control driving over 100mph. You were no longer with us. It still breaks my heart and I'll always cry thinking about it.
Just as I passed Exit 14 I was reliving the past as if it were happening again. Within a moments notice, some guy pulls up next to me giving the 'thumbs up' pointing at your car. This snapped me out of my sorrowful thinking and cracked a smile across my face.
I miss you terribly Robert. I really do.
Love always,
Joseph
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November 9th, 2009
Hey Rob,
I am sure you watched over us as Lisa and I drove up to Boston to hang with the Slacks. I am very impressed with the handling of the car. Mr. Happy is great on gas too. Just need to iron out a few little things that are vibrating and the like.
I loved how Shawna took Mr. Happy by the horns and raced him around Lynn. Very impressive for a soccer mom :)
Joseph
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November 3rd, 2009
Hey Rob,
Just watched this video and thought of us.
Joseph
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October 9th, 2009
Hey Rob,
I had a very awkward moment today. I dropped your car off to Eli at Ridgewood Auto to get the alignment done. Eli asked if that was my new car, to which I said, 'No, it belongs to my late brother...'. It continues to sound awful whenever I need to state your passing. I still can't seem to say I have 1 brother and 1 sister. I am so upset you took your life.
Impatiently waiting,
Joseph
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October 3rd, 2009
Note from Daddy
Robert. Thanks: for all the help and learning, we have shared together. All of your family said "Now is the time".
Love YOU and will always have you in my mind. Dad and the Kilrain FAMILY.
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September 30th, 2009
Brought your car to Mr. Han today to give the radiator a flush and replace the thermostat.
I've been struggling with a name for your car for the longest. I know we spoke about 'Hell Awaits', but that sounds to harsh. How does Mr. Happy sound?
Joseph
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September 29th, 2009
Still working on what to say but I'll let the photos and videos do the talking.
Love,
Joseph
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September 28th, 2009
AMAZING, IT REALLY IS!!!!!
Daddy, Amy, Jimmy Ervin, and I all took turns. I'll have photos to post and a better message for you when I am more composed. I'm still glowing over ther weekend.
Love,
Joseph
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September 25th, 2009
Hey Rob,
I am headed to Philly today to get the tires and wheels set up on your ride. I'll be sure to cook the rubber a little bit :)
Love,
Joseph
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September 15th, 2009
I just had the strongest thoughts about you Rob. I wanted you to know that I do love you very much and miss you.
I can't wait for your car to be done. I'm hoping that Mommy, Amy, Kevin, and Daddy will use the car when it is all done.
After talking with Daddy and seeing colors from Mike, we are going with red rims. It will add the perfect touch. Give props to Daddy for being creative. I told Mike I'd like to have the car by the end of the month. See to it that he has the time to complete the car.
Joseph
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September 12th, 2009
YOUR CAR IS AMAZING!!!!!
I'll have photos to post later this weekend. It really is impressive Rob. And Daddy's idea for the red rims is very cool too.
After handing Mike the $600, I asked if he knew how to install air bags for a lowrider. He said yes, you know which ride is going to get hooked up next :)
Joseph
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September 9th, 2009
Hello Rob,
I am headed to Philly this weekend to get your ride. It's all done, after 5 long years. I must say working with Daddy has been difficult but we got it done. I felt that you were with me the entire process. Your voice would enter my mind whenever I was confronted with a descision. I'd say I miss you terribly but you already knew that.
Please guide me safely this weekend as I unleash the wrath of your ride on all those that oppose its might.
Love,
Joseph
p.s. Mike really worked a miracle with your car. You should thank him in some way.
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September 3rd, 2009
Hello Rob,
We had a great time in Europe. Berlin was amazing. There were a bunch of really nice classic cars there, including a 69 Camaro, 73 Catalina 454, and a 64 Cadillac. Unfortunately I lost my digital camera and won't be able to share the memories.
While I was away, Daddy had coordinated with Mike and got nearly all of the parts installed. He even fixed (to an extent) the leaking firewall. All that remains is painting the dash and getting the rims. Daddy's mentioned painting your rims red. Not sure what color he means but I am nervous. Hopefully it won't be Fire Engine Red like he first mentioned.
More to follow,
Joseph
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August 21st, 2009
Hello Rob,
Lisa and I are in Amsterdam celebrating our first anniversary. You've been on my mind since we got here. Mainly because of the car.
Unfortunately we've hit a huge bump on the road to completion. The firewall was not repaired at Tom's and now your car is flooding like a sin. Mike said he might be able to fix only 50% of the water leakage. We've spoken with Tom and he will be looking at the damage to see what he can do.
And to add insult to injury the turn signal switch didn't fit.
Daddy took photos of Mike's progress. The interior is all gutted and ready for replacement. I ordered a new turn signal switch assembly to finally make legal turns.
Photos to come,
Joseph
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July 13th, 2009
Rob,
Daddy just confirmed Mike's got your car. I wrote a detailed list on what is needed for the interior. It is only a matter of time until your car is completed.
Eagerly waiting,
Joseph
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May 1st, 2009
Hey Robert,
Just saying hi. I hope all is well
Love,
Joseph
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March 20th, 2009
Hey Robert,
Sorry for not getting up to you. My previous host was giving me such a headache. They are assholes.
A few months back we did a video about you: Busted Halo. Bill did a great job. I hope you like it.
I've got almost all the parts needed for your ride. Get Daddy and Mike to finish it up for the summertime.
See you soon,
Joseph
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January 13th, 2009
Robert,
Just an FYI, after a long bidding war for the vent windows I finally got them, and for $6 cheaper too. I also found the Inside Fill for the Left side of the rear passenger seat. All of the complicated parts are found. Now Mike just needs to install them.
Keep everybody moving.
Love,
Joseph
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January 1st, 2009
Happy New Year Robert,
I found your instrument panel in the basement today! I thought it was lost when you passed away. When I saw it, I leaped with joy! This is exactly how I wanted to start the new year. Moving in the positive direction. I can't wait to get it installed.
Love,
Joseph
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December 27th, 2008
Robert,
Bill McGarvey, Daddy, and I met today regarding the interview with your car.
It went great and I think Bill has a lot of footage to make a great video. Did you like the little burnout I did? That's the first of many to follow.
Help us ring in the new year and make it wonderful and peaceful for everyone.
Also, guide me with my SIX4, it's time to hook my boy up now.
Love,
Joseph
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December 25th, 2008
Merry Christmas Robert.
I've been thinking about you today. Some of the gifts I've received are the remaining parts for your car.
Bill McGarvey and I are meeting up on Saturday to do a short video on how I find you through your car and this semi-blog. I'll post a link once they are done.
Check out this video. Sounds like a combo of a Nascar engine, a lion roaring, and a machine gun. Works for me. This is how I want your car to sound.
Love,
Joseph
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November 14th, 2008
Robert,
It's my birthday today. Despite yesterday making it four years since you've been gone, I've been thinking about you for months. My wedding and honeymoon was spectacular. Lisa and I had a great time, as did all that attended.
When we returned, Tom was complete with your car. The paint is great and body is superb. I've purchased the little bits of trim missing and am waiting for Mike to install the pieces. See the photos for yourself.
Tires and wheels are next.
We all miss you terribly.
Love,
Joseph
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September 19th, 2008
Robert,
I get married today. Needless to say I'll be thinking about you.
Love,
Joseph
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September 16th, 2008
Robert,
I added new photos to your landing page today. Now you can cycle through some of the images I've taken of the car while in progress. Click the 'Load another image' button at the very top to see what I mean.
I hope all is well.
Love,
Joseph
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August 24th, 2008
Robert,
Daddy and I met with Tom on Friday. His work and progress on the car is phenomenal. You can see the photos here. He also showed us a sample of the black paint he plans to use. I saw these rims today by Konig that I would like to get for your ride. I'll let you know how it turns out.
Your ride is going to be nasty!
Love,
Joseph
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August 12th, 2008
Robert,
I spoke with Tom earlier today. The car is almost done!
Love,
Joseph
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May 31st, 2008
Robert,
It's 1:24 a.m. Saturday morning. I had this feeling that you were with me watching the Nelson Racing videos of the 66 Impala. My plan is for your Impala to rival his. I really do wish you were here to work with me on your car. I miss you terribly.
Help keep me focused Rob. My skies are gray off and on with Mommy, Amy, and others in the family that are ignorant. Put the good word in with the Big Man up there.
Love,
Joseph
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May 16th, 2008
Robert,
There is not a ton of progress on your car but Tom has assured us it will be done sooner than later. He did get a new deck lid for the car. See the progress here.
Keep him motivated.
Love,
Joseph
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May 9th, 2008
Robert,
During this week I spoke with Tom about your car. He was working on it when I called him. Tom said having keyless entry will be very difficult due to the door set up on your car. So I told him I would purchase new door handles for the car. I called Classic Industries today and learned there is a sale coming up in Mid May. Use your heavenly abilities to get me that coupon so I can order the parts for 20% off :).
I am headed to Philly next week to talk with my college. I also plan to meet with Tom and photograph the progress of the car.
Also, I know you saw the accident with my Impala last month. Thank you for protecting me. Now that my Impala is getting hooked up too, guide those working on it to greatness.
Love,
Joseph
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March 18th, 2008
Robert,
My apologies for not wishing you a happy birthday. As you know I am terrible with remembering birthdays. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't chink of you. It aches my heart thinking how you departed our lives. Keep me sane, keep me focused, and above, keep the torch lit. I am on my way!
Love,
Joseph
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February 5th, 2008
Hello Rob,
I was talking to Darlene Pergola today. I showed her your car and we starting talking about how nice it is. I really want your ride done
by the summer time. Guide Tom to get started on the car. I'll be living through you as I drive it around.
Best,
Joseph
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November 13th, 2007
Hello Rob,
Needless to say, I am thinking about you today. I hope you are at peace.
Love,
Joseph
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October 10th, 2007
Hello Rob,
I was thinking about you a moment ago. The thought of your car being painted has really got me excited, it also has me sad.
Once the car is done you know I will keep as if it were mine, even though I know you will be watching as well. Just guide me going forward as much as you can. With my personal life and adventures, my future with Lisa, and helping those to see the light.
Don't be mad at me when I do some burnouts in your car either. You definitely did so with my Impala. As Mommy always said, 'What goes around comes around'.
Love,
Joseph
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September 30th, 2007
Good evening Rob,
After a long talk with Daddy, we've partially put our disagreements aside and will work together to get the car done. Tom promised the car within 2-3 months. Very soon!
Sadly, I don't think Daddy understood my email to him. He took it as I was attacking him and calling my claims, for lack of better words, lies. Help me with him Rob. You know I don't want to fight with anyone overall but he really doesn't see his comments hurting us. He won't accept responsibility for hurting us. Help him to stop drinking Rob. That's the only way he'll be a better man.
God Speed,
Joseph
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September 28th, 2007
Hey Rob,
I am sitting here after a long talk with Lisa about our future. As you known, The Gov't is breaking my b@ll$ about the bad CPA I dealt with. Make sure they suffer for what they've done to me and all the innocent people they've hurt. The other thing is, Mommy doesn't like Lisa because she is black and Amy & Daddy can't bring themselves to stop using derogatory words (n****r).
Give me a hand with them. I know their perception is clouded with the opinions of others, and their limited views on life. Frankly, I could care less on the opinions of everyone outside of our family.
I see the light Rob, I see where I can go with Lisa and my future. Guide me!
Help everyone in the family to truly understand what love is and maybe we can get your car done.
I plan to do everything myself unless Daddy can change his attitude about me being broke needing to 'hit people up for money' whenever a situation arises. It hurts me badly when he makes me out to be a failure. I know you understand given how he treated you sometimes.
Guide me - Guide them,
Joseph
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September 13th, 2007
Hey Rob,
Sorry to put a damper on the progress of your car. I told Daddy today that I don't want to finish the car with him. His constant concern (basically b.s.) for money has made me sick to my stomach. I told him once I get my own money I will finish your car without him.
Tom has your car right now. Once I get an estimate from him I will figure out if I can take on the project on my own or not.
Guide me Rob,
Joseph
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August 8th, 2007
Tom finally saw the car and we are waiting for his estimate. We are 1/3 of the way done :)
I am very excited!
Joseph
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August 1st, 2007
As you might already know, I was ripping up Philly with your car over the weekend. It's really nice Rob. We learned that the original transmission was removed from the car too. Not that it is a problem, just thought you would like to know.
Keep us well,
Joseph
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July 28th, 2007
Daddy had the car inspected by Lee across from his house.
Still waiting to hear from Tommy about the paint. Also, Daddy got news today that we may have to find a new garage to park the cars in. Work your magic to prevent this from happening. If that is asking for to much, guide us to a space that has same or lesser price for parking.
Keep us well,
Joseph
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July 26th, 2007
I walked over to 8th and Oregon and got the plates for you car. Along the way a grade school bully appeared, smiling very intently. His name is Nicky Manarazo. We spoke briefly which had me flashing back to my past. Of course you came to mind. I thought of when I would push you, Amy, and Kevin in the park in the red wagon. How we joked about having race cars for each other. The fire these thoughts ignited in my mind had me itching to get your ride out! On the 27th as I headed towards the subway at 9:00 a.m. I saw Ms. Libertz. She asked about mommy and how she is. Please help her find peace Rob. I am doing my part with your car and I ask that you do your part with Mommy.
Turns out that Tommy the paint man is reputable. The Tags man referred him to me to get your car done. So it looks like he will be doing the work on your car.
Thinking of you,
Joseph
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July 14th, 2007
I could have cried all weekend long. Your car sounds better than ever! Mike did a remarkable job painting the engine. Once I saw it, Daddy and I brought it to the muffler shop. I spared not one penny and focused on what was the best we could get from them. 2 1/2" Dual exhaust Flowmasters that are 'bologna cut' at the end. They creep out the site like on the Oldsmobile. The videos and photos are great.
Next is paint. I don't think Tom will do the job so guide me to the person you want to have work on it.
I miss you so much
Joseph
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May 11th, 2007
I was at Mike's today and heard the car. It's incredible! I know you heard it all the way up in heaven. Here are the photos and video images I have.
Keep everybody faithful Rob and help us get to the next stage.
Joseph
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May 9th, 2007
Daddy told me today that he saw the car with the kit installed! You now have front disc breaks. Mike will be replacing the rear wheel cylinders and brake lines all around the car. Hopefully I will get to see the car Thursday or Friday.
Keep everybody moving Rob.
Joseph
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April 30th, 2007
I spoke with Mike today and he said that he has the kit for the brakes. He will install them next week.
Joseph
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April 20th, 2007
I ordered the parts for the brakes. You'll have front disc brakes for now. Hopefully I'll be able to make the car disc all the way around in the near future.
Help me when you can Rob.
Joseph
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April 19th, 2007
Daddy said that Mike has the car on the lift and we are going to add the brake system.
I can hear the burnouts now!
Joseph
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April 5th, 2007
Daddy said that Mike got the car running!
Keep them working on your ride Rob, we are almost there!
Joseph
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March 26th, 2007
Daddy confirmed with me today that your ride is in Mike's hands. Mike is responsible for getting the car running, then it is off to the body shop.
Give everyone the power they need to get your ride running for the summer time.